My Alter Ego

me: I'm sorry you had dreams of me being a psycho hose bease...dream me sucks!
him: Yea, but she's still easier to explain than drunk you singing about granite.

He's Supportive

"Man, I wish I was there when gross things happen to you."

Every Day is April Fool's Day!

"Hey, I'm only marrying you so I can put plastic wrap on the toilet seat...just think, a girl I can tease to my heart's delight and she can't leave cause she's marrried to me."

Party Pooper

me: I was so excited to spend my bday with you and you came back and popped my bubble.
him: Oh I'm gonna be there to wreck it.
me: Wreck what? My bday? My bubble?
him: Just everything. First the bubble. Then your credit. Then your chances of election to public office. Then your bday.