He is Creative, I'll Give Him That

"Can my ring be made out of barbed wire since I'm such a badass?"

I Don't Think We're On the Same Page Here

him: So yea, let me know if you like the 1/2 karat or 1 karat better.

......the next day.......

me: I like the 1 karat better.
him: Ok. I like Pepsi better.

The Man Cake

me: I got someone to do our cake for us.
him: Will it be nacho flavored?

I Get to Name the Children...

"I've thought of another way we could name our kids. I'll watch Nascar and whatever logos I can read on the cars is what we can name them. Like...I don't know...Penzoil Tide."

'Til Beards Do Us Part

"I wanna grow a beard. You should get one too."

I'm a Barbie Girl...

me: Help me pick out colors while you're up here so you don't end up with a house full of hot pink.
him: Yay, I'm marrying Barbie.

Bed Bath and Waaaaaay Beyond

"Can we register at Guns and Ammo?"

He Has a Future as a Wedding Planner

me: Sweet, let's have a prairie dog themed wedding.
him: Babe, we are having a pirate theme.
me: Can I dress as a mermaid?
him. A pirate mermaid.

Life is in the Little Things

"Holy shit! They still sell ZOOBooks."

My Little Irish Ponies

me: I'm just laying on the beach pretending to get tan.
him: You CAN tan! You can do it my little Irish pony!

Stiff Competition

him: What are you doing?
me: Ohhhh just talking to this stud muffin.
him: Oh great. Now I have to compete with a muffin.

Laundry Day

me: Shoulda brought your laundry over yesterday, I did everyone else's.
him: Mine's real stinky.
me: Eh, I'd still do it.
him: I'm putting that in the vows...to have, to hold, to wash.

Who Knew Jackass Was a Term of Endearment??

me: I miss you!
him: Well I love you....beat that, jackass.

You Can't Argue Good Logic

him: You perv.
me: You're a much bigger perv than I am.
him: Only because I'm taller and weigh more.

Urban Legends

him: I hear if you send me naked pictures, it'll stop raining.
me: Nah, that's just an urban legend.
him: Try it. You can be a mythbuster.

Missing in Action

"I hope you're not dead. That would suck."

Classy

"I want you in nothing but high heels and too much makeup....with your hair in a beehive."

Whitewater Rafting

me: Yea, and then the guide pushed me out of the raft into the river!
him: That's where you belong.

King of the Jungle

me: Roar!
him: Roar?
me: I'm a lion.
him: A gay lion?