Reckless Endangerment

me: Ahhh, I almost ran over a bunny.
him: What did I tell you about driving through the pet store?

Mind Games

me: You want a tally for that?
him: Yea, unless you learned how to set birds on fire with your mind.....that would be a cool tally too.

Football Bat

me: Man, life's weird.
him: What's weird about it? I'll tell you what's weird....a football bat. Strangest thing ever.

Strangers

"Why must you assume I know so much about you? We just met."

Strong Enough For a Man, pH Balanced For a Woman

me: Dude, sweaty armpits isn't something I can control.
him: Just cover yourself generously with baby powder....... Did you try anti-persperant? Or amputation?

Dog Poop

him: I'm going to put a flaming bag of dog poop on your front porch.
me:.....uh, we're going to have the same front porch.
him: Good. I won't have to walk as far.

PeopleFax

me: So yea, I'm off my blood pressure meds now but I have to take an iron supplement.
him: Do lemon laws apply to you?