Dr. Phil

"I'm just communicating because that's what Dr. Phil says couples should do."

Good Thing I've Got Other Things Going For Me:

"You're the worst story teller ever."

A Reminder Not to Eat Too Much

"Easy there, hungry hungry hippo."

Job Security

me: I didn't know you were that desperate to get rid of me.
him: Nah, no man would ever get rid of someone who figured out how to mail cake.